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An Incredible Change

The Paekau Family - learning to spend quality time together

For young parents, Lance and Linda, The Incredible Years programme was one of the first steps in creating a positive home environment where they could bring their family together again.

Both Lance and Linda are quick to admit that they haven’t always done things the best way, but they’ve both made life-changing decisions to change the way they were living and focus on their family.

They knew they needed to learn how to be better parents to their daughter, Rongokui (6) and son, Tenaera (3). Both children are currently living with a close relative, a decision that Linda and Lance made to protect them, while they began the process of rebuilding their lives and learning to be the best parents they can. They currently have the children with them every second weekend.

Linda talked through their situation with a family worker at Family Works in the Waikato, who recommended that they attend the 10-week group parenting programme, The Incredible Years.

The couple found the programme invaluable, giving them the opportunity to explore their parenting styles and challenge the way they bought up their children. The learned new techniques to improve their relationship with their children while also discouraging negative behaviour.

“One of the most important things we learned was how to play with our children,” says Linda. “Before, we would just get on with living our own lives, but now we realise the importance of spending quality time together as a family and doing things the kids enjoy.”

For Lance, the programme was a great way to get support for their family. He admits to being a little nervous at the beginning of the programme, but found that he was in a safe place, where he could open up and be completely honest with the facilitators and other parents. That way, they could really support him and deal with the specific issues the family were facing.

The changes the programme has made are already evident in the family. While the children don’t yet live with their parents, the time that they do spend together is crucial in repairing relationships and building a strong foundation for the family for the future. The children are much more responsive to instruction given by their parents, and they regularly engage in play together as a family. Their home is full of life and laughter and Linda and Lance are grateful for the support they received through the Family Works programme. They are determined to do a refresher course when the children come home so that they can continue to put into practice the great tips and techniques the programme offers.

For more information on Family Works or the Incredible Years programme, please visit www.familyworks.org.nz.